So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
