you have to choose: penises or morals?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
