I saw his package. It spoke to me.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize