oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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