I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
