im having a threesome with these popsicles
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
