2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
