I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize