her vagine was all disorganized.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
