I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
