Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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