Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
