'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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