Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
