No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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