I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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