So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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