They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize