I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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