what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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