she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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