coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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