we have pet lesbian snakes
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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