I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
