are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
