Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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