i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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