if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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