there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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