How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
