He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize