idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I cannot find my penis.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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