the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize