yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
