Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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