Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
