You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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