We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
