i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize