I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
