Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
