I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
