i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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