Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
