turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
