xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
