wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
