Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
