i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
