Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
