dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize