playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
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