I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
