I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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