we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
