apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
