everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
