ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
