you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
