Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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