Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize
