And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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