I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
