he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
