hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
